mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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