Kiss
Puke
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
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The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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