She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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