Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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