I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize