I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm really into asian looking animals
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
