I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just cropdusted the office
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
