I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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