My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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