Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
