the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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