You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
