I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
