I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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