Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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