I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
