obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
