My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
