Can i not drive my cunt home
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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