I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
