She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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