i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
