I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize