I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
