im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
