I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
