i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
