So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
