You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Are we still banned from the library?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
