This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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