She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
