i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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