P.S. I can't hear my feet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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