So drunk its hurt
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
