I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
