she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
