What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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