Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
