my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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