Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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