He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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