But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
