ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
