Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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