I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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