I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
