Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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