We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
