i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
