: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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