Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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