jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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