And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
