You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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