toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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