A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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