is your mom at the bar?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
