My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
